Most of us attribute the term "conflict" with something inherently negative. However, not all conflict is bad conflict. In fact, conflict is a necessary component of a healthy relationship. Just to be clear, the term "conflict" is not referring to yelling, screaming, or hurtling insults.

Disagreements and problems are unavoidable in relationships (whether personal or professional) and in life in general - how you address them and resolve them is what's most important. When conflict is resolved in a healthy, respectful, and productive manner, it can actually bring people closer.  

Conflict resolution therapy may be helpful if you:

• Have a tendency to shut down during conflict 
• Feel an extreme sense of fear and anxiety until an argument has been resolved 
• Have a tendency to yell and say things you don't mean during conflict 
• Keep having the same arguments with your partner
• Feel resentful towards a lot of people in your life 
• Need help managing your emotions during an argument 
• Want to find healthier, more effective ways of communicating your needs
• Want to feel at ease after a disagreement & know something was accomplished

Attachment style typically plays a key role in how we address and resolve conflict. Most people learned how to function in relationships and resolve conflict from their parents/caregivers. Children learn through modeled behavior, therefore, our approach to conflict usually mirrors how our caregivers resolved conflict with each other, their friends, or ourselves as kids/teens. As adults, we may logically disagree with our caregivers' unhealthy methods, however, we're likely to follow suit because we were never taught an alternative way.  

For example, do you feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable by conflict? Do you feel the urge to leave the conversation as soon as possible? When a loved one brings a problem to your attention, do you feel personally attacked or think to yourself "I clearly can't do anything right"? 

After an argument, it's common for people to avoid their friend, romantic partner, or co-worker in hopes of the issue resolving itself overtime. Avoiding conflict may feel like a solution in the short-term, especially if you and the other person always end up acting "normal" after some time passes. However, this build-up of unresolved issues will eventually explode. Typically, a minor disagreement will arise, and all the "swept under the rug" anger and resentment from the previous unresolved conflicts will be unleashed all at once. 

Learning how to navigate conflict resolution in therapy will help you see conflict as an opportunity improve/strengthen your relationships and grow as a person. Learning to actively listen, productively communicate, manage intense emotions, and focus on resolving the issue at hand will all be key components.   

Please reach out to me for a free consultation if you're interested in improving your conflict resolution skills!